


A Matter of Despondency

by Eradite



Category: Hogan's Heroes (TV 1965)
Genre: Bickering, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, England 1945, Espionage, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:55:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22893658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eradite/pseuds/Eradite
Summary: Another mad fancy.
Relationships: Robert Hogan & Wilhelm Klink, Robert Hogan/Wilhelm Klink
Comments: 7
Kudos: 55





	A Matter of Despondency

**Author's Note:**

> I took the liberty and made Klink a little more on par with Hogan. I don't want him to be a hero (in any sense) and he certainly is none, but I gave him more heart and brains. You have to squint a little to make these two work.
> 
> Many thanks to colpapabear for her marvellous proofreading!

_England, June 1945_

The oak wood of his garden chair creaked as Hogan slumped down, immediately moved his body in a comfortable position and stretched his legs in the verdant soft grass under his feet.

After Hitler's suicide and the total and unconditional surrender of Germany in Europe on May 8th, the CIC took over Stalag 13 and started to transform it into a camp of imprisoned NSDAP members. Shortly after, the British headquarters ordered him, along with his men, back to London. Klink joined their flight after a short visit in Duesseldorf to see his mother.

Now in the mid of June, Hogan had taken quarters in a tiny cottage near the RAF bases Lakenheath and Mildenhall in the Thetford Forest.

It was a beautiful little thing, the cottage. The garden was surrounded by apple trees and the wild-growing grass was sprinkled with Delphinium, Lavender, Hydrangea and other multi-coloured flowers. It had been quite a shock when he'd arrived, the peaceful quietness and warm summer air were honey for his stress overloaded system and after the cacophony of the last months of war. Yet, he already missed the regular adrenaline high, particularly in the quiet hours of the night. _Boredom attracts vices,_ he had to remind himself.

"I give it an hour." Klink said as he critically watched the sky.

He had arrived a little while ago and now sat next to Hogan nursing a glass of water. He had spent the last weeks being questioned at London headquarters and had to wait out the process of his information, intel and status being verified.

"An hour, hm. I don't think it will take that long." 

The local weather forecast had predicted a thunderstorm for the evening hours and the humid air that made their shirts stick to their bodies confirmed it.

"Are you in for a small bet?"

"Don't try to fool me, I know you're blank."

Klink made a face and Hogan gave him one of his infuriating smiles in response.

"Remember our last time in England?" Klink asked, changing the topic.

"You say it like it was a honeymoon."

"It certainly wasn’t. You drugged me and threw me out of a perfectly good airplane."

"Can't remember that part, honestly. I'm still sidetracked by the fact that I witnessed the worst display of an American soldier, ever. And as a matter of fact, you jumped all on your own."

"So, you _do_ remember. I wasn't that bad, though, was I?"

Hogan snorted. "It was your Klink persona in an American uniform. I had to tear the monocle out of your hands, for crying out loud! Three times!"

Klink only chuckled. "In hindsight, it would have been the perfect opportunity to reveal myself."

"Would have made everything much easier and less painful to watch."

"You can't tell me you'd have preferred the easy way."

"No, I can't say that." Hogan looked at him pointedly.

They sat a few minutes in silence and watched how dark clouds piled up at the edge of the horizon in the far distance, building an impressive dark front that came closer by the minute.

"Why didn't you? I mean, tell me that you knew what was going on. Earlier. You had so many opportunities," Hogan asked the question that nagged at him since he had found about the fact that Klink had known exactly what was going on, in detail and for a long time.

Klink considered the question for a moment.

"To be frank, I had made myself a product of the system."

He put his water glass on the ground next to him.

"I was scared, a coward, and selfish. I thought for the longest time that providing you scope of action had to be enough. And if I acted the way I did, no one would have suspected me in case of your capture. I wanted to be a blind spot,” he sighed before continuing, “I have no excuses."

"Typical German arrogance, isn't it?" Hogan was not surprised by his answer.

"I don't think I have a basis to argue against it anymore."

"So, I guess that means you surrender." Hogan gave him his charming half-grin.

"Hogan." Klink said in his annoyed tone but there was no sharpness in it.

"Sorry, I can't hear it enough. It's music to my ears. I even gifted you my personal Geneva Convention pamphlet to ease you into it."

Klink rolled his eyes and released an exhausted huff but obliged with a theatrical hand gesture, "I surrender."

Hogan's face lit up with a mischievous smile.

"Ah, before I forget, I've got all the paperwork inside. Remind me to give it to you before you leave. You've got full immunity. Schultz, too. We've registered you as parties of the resistance network and as grade A informants. And your involvement was pivotal in the last months, anyway, as confirmed by headquarters. I heard rumours about trials, so they probably demand of you to be a witness in those. Specifically, Hochstetter's and Burkhalter’s should bring you joy. I don't think you have to be apprehensive of acts of revenge after that."

Klink looked over and met his eyes briefly, "Thank you, Hogan."

Hogan patted his shoulder before he added, "You're officially a traitor to your own country. Congratulations!"

Klink met his eyes fleetingly another time, before he warily averted his gaze back to the horizon.

"What, no dance of happiness?" Hogan asked a but got concerned when he saw Klink’s face had become dark and serious.

"No, there's no ounce of relief in me." His voice drawled out and he rubbed his forehead.

"The numbers have been corrected again. They’re already in the millions. Millions of people who suffered and died in the name of my country. Cities have been reduced to dust and ashes. I should have known - why did no one tell me? If I had known, you would have known and maybe they could have been liberated earlier. Millions of innocent deaths. And for what? I can't stop thinking about it. Did I know but I turned a blind eye to it? How could I have missed something like this? I am no better than the people who lived next to the camps and claim they did not know what was going on. I feel so utterly ashamed and endlessly sorry for what I allowed to happen." Klink's voice died in his throat.

Hogan could literally feel the anxious energy that ran through Klink, his body so tense it must hurt and his speech in his typical fast and unsteady way. Even though he had exaggerated a certain part of his mannerisms or rather instrumentalized them quite conveniently as the Kommandant of StaLag 13, his anxiety and low self-worth were more than just a careful constructed act.

A heavy and oppressive feeling had settled in Hogan's chest, thinking about the victims of the war. This was not the first conversation they had had about the scope of the atrocities of the war, but it was the first time that Klink's desperation and feelings of guilt were conveyed so openly.

Hogan was not surprised about Klink's remorse as he had witnessed his face falling and turning white like a sheet of paper when he originally told him about the war crimes that had taken place under his nose.

"Will, you did not allow it to happen. If you'd had information about it in any way, I would have certainly known. You said to me once that you prefer being an alive failure than a dead hero."

Hogan placed his hand on Klink’s forearm and squeezed gently.

"You've played the game like a swiss Alm cattle farmer until you decided to join the good guys. You did good in the end, that counts, too. The visual impairment is on your left eye, not on the right. You ending up in an espionage ring, it was predestined, Colonel."

Hogan's hand began to move gently up and down Klink's arm on its own. When he realized what he was doing that well-known longing hit him like a train.

In all the years, touch had not been alien to them. Firm grips on the shoulder, a pat on the arm here, a squeeze of hands there. That was spy training 101 - touch infused trust, made your target vulnerable - Hogan explained to himself. Yet he knew they exceeded the scope of that strategy. They were always in each other's spaces, far too close for mere acquaintances, not even to speak of formal enemies and yet never close enough. And the symbolism of the many shared cigars between them wasn't lost to him either.

What was once another mad fancy born out of the orchestrated chaos of war and shaken up order adamantly swirled around them. It made him dizzy and full of yearning for something that is impossible, unspeakable and remained an intimacy they have never dared to give into. Now, it pulsed strongly and familiarly between them, always underlaid with a hidden question.

He yearned for more and had for a very long time.

Klink just nodded in response, he seemed to be lost for words and unaware of Hogan’s trail of thought. After one last pad, Hogan leaned back into his chair.

They indulged in the silence a little while until Klink sighed and changed the topic.

"Are your men still in England?"

"LeBeau is already back in France with his family. Baker and Carter are on a ship to New York where Kinch will welcome them. Newkirk was back home but is now in London and works with the CIC."

Hogan wiped a raindrop away that had landed on his forearm.

“It was nice of LeBeau to adopt all the older guard dogs from Herr Schnitzer.”

“He always had a soft spot for them. Did you know that he had trained them for our purposes?”

“Well, that explains a lot.”

A soft drizzling began that swiftly turned into rain and brought along strong winds. The cool rain was a relief after the humid day but quickly became quite uncomfortable.

Hogan considered waiting it out for a little while but then decided he did not want to end up freezing.

Holding up a hand to gather rain drops, he turned to Klink.

“We should relocate inside, Klink, or do want to get soaked?”

“No, no, let’s go,” he said and reached for his water before he got up.

“Can we leave the chairs outside?” He asked, reluctant to follow Hogan.

“Yeah, that’s where I found them. Now, come on.” Hogan waved him over to the cottage. Klink gave them one last look before he followed him to find shelter.

~~~~**\-------------------------**

Inside the cottage, Hogan smoothly hooked his arm in Klink’s and led him the few steps to the living room. There they relocated in two big leather armchairs next to a small fireplace. Hogan took some logs from the basket next to it and lit them up, before he settled in. 

"You are going back to the States, I suppose." Klink picked up their conversation again.

"No, not yet. I haven't planned anything yet." Hogan said vaguely.

"How about your parents?"

"They are fine. I've called them several times in the last weeks. My mother works for a local hospital and takes care of war returnees. She must have gotten details from them of what went on over here. She isn't happy about me staying in Europe for now to begin with, but otherwise they're doing well."

"So, no lady friend waiting for your return back home?" Klink gave him a pointed look.

"Waiting for me, for five years? Nah, I don't think so. I could ask around when I'm back. Do a small empirical study. "

"Probably won't take long until you've got proof of that theory. You were in a prisoner camp and still had to fight them off.”

"How do _you_ know?"

“First of all, Hilda and Helga. And Schultz is a blabbermouth,” he added casually.

"Anyway," Hogan lowered his voice the tiniest bit and let the words carefully drawl out, "never the heads I wanted to turn.” 

Klink paused a moment. Hogan's heart paused too.

“Hard to believe you wanting that.”

Instead of giving an answer, Hogan stood up and went over to the cabinet and chose a 10-year-old Edradour.

"One or two fingers?" He asked and looked over his shoulder to Klink.

He studied his face for a moment and as Klink did not respond, their eyes met. His face was unreadable. He knew they were both quietly dancing around it again, their usual game. Nonverbal, nonetheless.

"Three, then." Hogan decided as an excuse to find something else to focus on and filled two crystal glasses with the golden liquid.

"They asked me to return and to locate NSDAP members in hiding," he explained on his way back to his armchair and handed Klink a glass. Their fingers slightly brushed against each other which made Hogan's skin still tingle when he sat down and leaned back into the cushions.

"Aha, daher weht der Wind also! When will you leave?" Klink did seem to be relieved and took a gulp of the whiskey that immediately made him cough.

"Depends." Hogan cleared his throat. "Depends on the fact if I can recruit you for that mission or not. Because if yes, we need to have some paperwork signed."

"Hogan. You can't be serious. "

"Yes, I am. The proposal comes with regards from Mama Bear."

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay, just think about it.”

“Was it your idea?”

“No, not per se. You don't have to fear any hidden schemes." _It sure was_ , he added in his mind.

"And here I thought you were missing my camaraderie."

“Ha, German arrogance, there it is again.” Hogan smiled and saluted him with one finger.

Klink just scoffed.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Okay, you do that. You have about…,” Hogan took a quick look at his watch, “14 hours to decide.”

“I will tell you my answer when I leave.”

Hogan was satisfied with that. They both knew he would accept the offer. Even if it was just a desperate attempt of penance.

Hogan took a sip of his whiskey and changed the topic.

"I've never asked, what gave us away?"

A smile began to play on Klink's lips.

"Well, there were several incidents that raised my initial suspicion. But they were only confirmed when I tripped in my living room and tried to stop my fall by foolishly grasping for the stove. I pushed it over and discovered the tunnel entrance."

Klink huffed a small laugh when he saw Hogan's expression of absolute horror.

"I waited for the next day when you and your men were ordered out to repair the street in Hundsfeld, then I put a piece of firewood between the cover and floor and slipped in to inspect your tunnel system. "

"No!" Hogan groaned. “You tripped, seriously? My high security underground operation was busted because you tripped?”

"Yes, exactly."

"This was within the first months. I can't believe that you deceived us for all this time."

"Well, you got what you wanted with me. There was no need to be suspicious."

Klink leaned over to clink his glass of whiskey against Hogan’s. 

"Also, I did not study tactics in command school for nothing. I even made you believe I fell for that extra sensory perception shit.”

Klink’s smile grew and Hogan shook his head in exhaustion. "I wish we had a chess board here. I'd like to beat you for once without any hindering parameters," he teased lightly in return.

"Hindering parameters, aka, you thought you'd let me win."

"I certainly did not just _think_ that." Hogan scoffed.

Klink's teasing and acted up self-confident behavior did funny things to his heart.

"I'd beat you in the blink of an eye without having to make you believe on that I can barely distinguish my queen from my king."

"Ha, that's quite a statement! Care to elaborate?" Hogan asked.

"Tell me, if there were a chessboard between us now, how would you open the game?"

"A chessboard, between us?" Hogan drummed his fingers against his knees with a curious energy. "Let me think about it for a sec." Hogan took a sip of his whiskey. "I'd go for 1d4."

"1d4, aha. Thus, you want to go for Blackmar-Diemer? After 1.d4 d5 2.e4 dxe4 3.nc3 and a quick f3, your white will get to take advantage of a quick lead in development just for an exchange for a pawn. Many possibilities of lines and traps. Dangerous. Cunning. Clever. Typical you."

Hogan smiled, clearly caught.

"Between us, we will probably end in remis."

By the sudden change of atmosphere, Hogan realized that he had entered dangerous territory.

"Generally speaking?" Klink asked, aware of it, intentionally innocent.

"Irrelevant. A riskier move is in order.” Hogan’s body was vibrating with unreleased tension.

"You know my relationship with risks. I tend to avoid them."

“It’s never too late to start.”

“You ask a lot of me, gambling with the most talented manipulator I have ever met. Does the outcome outweigh the risks?" Klink countered.

"Depends on how much you want it. But in my experience the outcome is always worth it when the risks are that high."

It was not even subtle anymore. When Klink did not answer, Hogan thought _checkmate_. 

"There's a violin case over there. Has the former inhabitant of this house left it behind?" Klink broke the silence. Hogan did not know if he should feel regret or relief. They were both cowards, he decided.

Klink did not wait for an answer and quickly went over to said violin case that rested in a small space between a wall and the cabinet.

"What, Klink no. Don't tell me you want to play!"

Klink gently opened the case and fondly regarded the violin for a moment. Then he took it along with its bow out of its case and promptly began to tune the instrument.

"Just a small piece. I guarantee that you'll like it."

Hogan suppressed the need to bury his face in his hands and to leave the room, or better the cottage.

"It's a favorite of mine. I hope you enjoy it."

With that he turned his body to the window, lifted the violin and began to play while gazing outside, watching the storm.

Just like expected, his playing was horribly out of tune, the violin creaked and moaned under his bow. Hogan felt almost as sorry for the violin as for himself.

But then, like a puzzle pieced together, the torture stopped, and the playing got smooth and melodic. Klink turned around to face Hogan and a mischievous smile played on his lips before he closed his eyes and concentrated himself fully on his playing.

From this moment on, he made the violin sing, conveying a range of moods, atmospheres and emotions. Hogan was instantly captured and listened breathlessly to every note.

The melody quickly became a theme, varying in tempo and mood. Alternating between uncertainty, probing, raging, doubting, yearning and longing as if trying to hunt for the answer to a mystery. The music was intense, sweet, low, a reflection of emotions accompanied by the clatter of the rain outside. He ended the whole piece in upward notes, in a hesitant question.

When Klink lowered the violin; the tension was as thick as midday heat. Hogan could not think of anything to say that would adequately convey his thoughts.

"That was beautiful." His voice was very soft.

 _You ingenious idiot_ , _you_ , he added in his mind. 

Klink put the violin back in its case.

"You think so?" Klink was his self-conscious self again and flushed a little.

“You made us listen to this caterwaul all those years, but you play like that?! Will, it was amazingly beau..”

 _Bang!_ A thunder exploded in the near distance, and a loud clash in another part of the cottage followed.

"Ah, that's the one of the kitchen windows. I'll go, can you secure the ones in here?" Hogan asked, already on his feet on the way to the kitchen.

Klink walked over to the living room windows to barricade the handles that rattled loudly under the pressure of outside's winds.

**\-------------------------**

"All secure!" Hogan called, his voice muffled due to the thunder and the walls between them.

Klink still gazed out of the window that he’d just barricaded and watched the relentless wind tearing at the trees and the brightness of lightning streaks against the black sky.

He felt Hogan's presence behind him before he could distinguish his soft steps from the whistling wind and the hard rain drops against the window glass. He expected a mocking comment about his window barricading skills, but Hogan remained quiet. Klink felt the air between them tense up again. A jolt of energy ran through his body and he tried to refrain from shuddering.

He wanted to turn around, look at Hogan’s face. But something kept him frozen on the spot. He tried desperately to find something to anker his nervousness and decided on the situation outside.

"The worst is yet to come. Look at that black front there, it comes from the coast."

But Hogan did not seem interested in his weather predictions, as he said nothing. Klink was on the edge to turn around as he suddenly felt two hands tentatively settling on his hips. His heart sped up nervously.

Hogan was right behind him then, his body heat reflected by Klink’s linen shirt. Klink did not dare to move; he held his breath and closed his eyes for a moment. Hogan leaned closer until his chest was lightly pressed against Klink’s back. A shiver ran down his body as he felt Hogan’s breath on his cheek.

"Tell me to stop." It was a mere whisper.

All heat rushed down and centred somewhere between Hogan’s hands. His voice was hoarse when he finally found the right words. It took all the courage he got.

"You know that I won't."

Hogan released a breath and all the tension with it. And then his lips were on his neck and Klink lost the ability to breathe. Hogan kissed a trail of soft kisses until he reached his cheek and rested his head in the creak of his neck. Klink laid his hands upon Hogan's on his hips and squeezed gently.

"Let me..." he said and slowly turned around.

Hogan's eyes displayed the same level of vulnerability as his.

Klink leaned forward, hugged him and tentatively buried his nose in Hogan's neck. Hogan began to slide his hands along the muscles on his back and pressed harder into him. Klink could feel Hogan's rapid heartbeat, matching his own.

Then Hogan began to kiss his cheek again, softly and silently questioning. Klink turned his head ever so slightly and met his lips, one hand coming up to cradle his jaw. Hogan immediately relaxed and leaned into the touch. Klink’s other hand travelled up Hogan’s neck and he let his fingers run through his dark hair.

“Couch?” Hogan asked against his mouth, sending shivers down Klink’s body.

The fine tremor remained when Hogan led him backwards to the couch and nonchalantly climbed on him when he had sat down. Giving him no time to think he kissed him again, and again, deepening the kiss. And if it wasn’t for the steady thunder outside Klink had been sure that this was a mere dream.

Later in the afterglow, when the thunderstorm had moved on and just a soft clatter of rain remained, and the air was washed free off the humid heat, Klink nervously handed him his handkerchief to clean them both up and pulled him close again - missing his warmth already. He turned his face against the curve of Hogan's' throat like Hogan had done before.

"Don't - don't feel the way you think you ought to. This is not a sin." Hogan whispered against his cheek.

Klink pulled back and looked at him like he had thought about this many times already. He pushed softly a dark strand of hair back out of his face.

"I could never feel bad about anything in terms of you."

Hogan’s face lit up in a relieved smile and he leaned in to kiss him.

“I have to call headquarter in the morning. I guess I need another day or two to properly convince you. Or do you feel convinced yet?” Hogan asked before he dipped his head to kiss a line along his collarbones.

Klink began to caress his hair and Hogan heard a small smile playing on his lips.

“I can’t say I do. I feel particularly stubborn to be honest.”

“It’s settled then.” Hogan said and raised his head in to order to kiss the smile from his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Off they go, Nazi hunting.
> 
> Thank you for reading :)


End file.
